How Not To Worry About What Others Think Of You – Want to know a secret………………people rarely care about you. I don’t mean this in a dismissive way, but we all have to-do lists, we all have things we’re working on, thinking about, worrying about, and so on. There is very little time to pay full attention to what has been said/done. . . So imagine the next time you’re buzzing about a conversation with someone, wondering if you’re on the right track or what someone thinks of your latest Insta post. Put yourself in their shoes and imagine if they are thinking about you right now………
I guess they literally and physically scroll past and beyond. Stop worrying about what others think and focus on your own journey, you will not only get more done in your life but you will be less afraid, more confident, more productive and much less anxious.
How Not To Worry About What Others Think Of You
22 May 2020 How to Improve Happiness 20 May 2020 Mental Health Awareness Week 2020 – Key Self-Care Tips 19 May 2020 Mental Health Awareness Week 4 February 2020 Retreat Feedback
Reasons To Stop Caring About What Others Think — Molly Ho Studio
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In teaching for over 15 years, I have experienced many embarrassing moments. One happened last year when I failed to turn off my lapel mic during a bathroom break for a class. (Thankfully, I used the washbasin, not the toilet.) Of course not turning the mic off wasn’t a serious mistake. And yet, I felt so ashamed.
Shame, and the associated feeling of shame, arises when we violate a moral code or an expected standard. Thus, we feel embarrassed and ashamed when we are caught cheating on a test or when we perform poorly on it. These feelings arise when we think about how badly others think of us.
Habits Of Exceptionally Likable People
Experiencing shame and embarrassment is not pleasant. But they serve a useful purpose. Studies show that when we feel embarrassed or ashamed we are likely to be more considerate and kind, and more likely to be motivated to correct past mistakes. So, on one level, it’s a good thing that we care so much about what others think of us.
About what others think of us. Studies show that we constantly overestimate how much and how badly others think of our failures. An unfortunate consequence of this is that we hold back a lot and are much less spontaneous and joyful than we should be.
The good news is that most of us recognize this problem. In my happiness courses, I sometimes ask students to list all the things they want to get out of class. The result that consistently tops this list: I want to learn how to stop worrying about what other people think of me.
As I commented in another post, we are a painfully social species. For example, four out of five processes running in the background of the brain are about our relationships with others. We care deeply about others because our happiness depends on the quality of our relationships. One study found that every last person in the happiest 10 percent of participants had at least one intimate relationship; So, if you want to belong to the happiest 10 percent, great relationships aren’t a luxury—they’re a necessity. Similarly, another study found that the top 2 of the 25 activities we do regularly – such as eating, driving, socializing, working – involve other people.
How Not To Worry About What Others Think Of You
Therefore, we have good reason to worry about what others think of us. We want to be in their good books so that we can build and nurture our relationship with them. Our anxiety about what others think of us stems from the fear that we might lose friends or intimacy. This fear can, in some cases, be beneficial. As I mentioned earlier, embarrassment and shame can motivate us to behave more thoughtfully or appropriately, making others more likely to like us.
But if the fear is too great, it can backfire. Constantly thinking that others are like us can cause considerable anxiety, leading to neediness and insecurity, which drives others away from us. This can set off a vicious cycle, ultimately leading to loss of self-esteem and social isolation.
Instead of self-centeredness. If you are consistently kind and considerate, you will care less about what others think of you. There are two reasons for this. First, when you are kind and considerate, others will naturally like you more; So, you don’t need to worry much about what others think about you.
Second, even if your actions are misinterpreted or lead to unintended negative consequences—the road to hell is, after all, paved with good intentions—you will know that your intentions were noble. This will give you the mental freedom to worry less about what others think of you.
Caring About What Other People Think Of You? Don’t!
Is it worth becoming more outgoing to stop caring what others think of you? Here’s the good news: Being more-focused is not only a happiness booster, but also a success booster. In particular, you are more likely to succeed if you are a giver rather than a taker.
Hurting People Although you try your best to be kind and considerate, you may still be judged negatively by others. This is not a reflection of your failure; Rather, it is a reflection of where others are coming from. People often behave as they know. Acknowledging this can help you become a little more empathetic towards others and, in turn, reduce your anxiety about what others think of you.
That said, however, this principle – of reducing the negative judgments of others – should be applied with caution. As we know from many studies of self-serving bias, it’s easy to blame others for our own failures. So, you’ll want to make sure you’re not focusing on your real flaws to make yourself feel better. It’s important to be brutally honest with yourself: Have I really been considerate and kind? Or, am I confused about this?
There’s a third thing you can do to stop worrying about what others think of you: develop attentional control.
Quotes About Not Caring What Others Think
Sometimes, you may realize that others’ negative judgments about you are justified: you are just confused. But that doesn’t mean you have to wallow in shame and embarrassment forever. Catholics have a great way to get rid of unproductive shame and embarrassment: confessing to a priest. But if you are not lucky enough to be Catholic, you can practice what the researchers say
Attentional control is just what it sounds like: being able to control what you pay attention to. It involves practicing your ability to focus on the things you want to focus on and away from the things you don’t want to focus on.
Perhaps the best way to practice attentional control is through meditation. While meditation doesn’t work for everyone, it is a very powerful way to develop attentional control, as I can attest from personal experience. One downside to meditation is that it can take a long time – at least a few weeks – to start seeing progress but I think time is precious, and the sooner you start, the better. Another side of mindfulness is that you develop greater self-awareness, which can be useful in preventing self-delusion.
If you want to try a mindfulness exercise, here’s something called the Presence Exercise that my good friend Vijay Bhatt created for my Happiness Course course. You will find it especially useful if you live a boring, stressful life and have never practiced mindfulness.
Worrying About What Other People Think And How To Stop It
. As Goethe famously said, “Action has magic, power and grace.” One of the reasons karma has magic, power and grace is that it helps you focus on the goals you are trying to achieve rather than what others think of you.
But what steps should you take to distract yourself from what others think of you?
I would suggest doing things that help you nurture your other-centered-type and empathic-side. Do a random act of kindness. Or write a thank you note. Or, do what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi tells you
Being overly concerned about what others think of you can be debilitating. But these three things can help:
Nothing You Don’t Already Know (pt.2)
Raj Raghunathan, PhD, is an Associate Professor in the Department of Marketing at the University of Texas McCombs School of Business. Quotes is a special editorial section dedicated to collecting and curating quotes.
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