How To Get Over A Narcissistic Mother – The hidden part means they tend to be under the radar for most people – but not for the people they live with.
Sons and daughters of addicted mothers often have no idea how much their mother’s “parenting style” is costing them.
How To Get Over A Narcissistic Mother
It is not unusual to find that you are still dealing with complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) due to your mother’s abusive behavior.
Ways A Covert Narcissist Mother Ruins Her Child’s Future
If you’re not sure if your mom is a drug addict, here are some signs to look out for.
When you do, say or wear the right things (that is, what he wants), he glows with pride and self-satisfaction.
She sees you as an extension of her ego, so whenever you do what she wants, she is happy and loves your praise.
If you do, say or wear something he doesn’t like, he will openly and publicly tear you apart because he takes it personally.
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Each of her gifts has a connection. And if he wants it back, he’ll either ask for it or just take it from you—in either case, claiming you don’t use it at all or never valued it.
If you give her something she didn’t ask for, she’ll probably either refuse it or graciously accept it, but throw it away later.
No matter how well or tactfully delivered, any criticism is an attack, and she will either respond aggressively or play the victim to criticize or demonize her.
How dare you question her decisions or her motives when she just wants to make her family happy?
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Everything and anything in your life is her business. He demands to know everything and have access to everything about you.
He is only there for you when it is convenient. But if you don’t rush to her side when she asks, she’ll quickly resent you.
As a human extension of her ego, you’ll always be there to make her look good and feel good about herself. You feel your growing need for independence as her rejection.
Whether your situation involves a narcissistic mother and son (or daughter) or a covert narcissistic mother-in-law, you need to understand how likely this dynamic is to affect you.
Signs Of A Narcissistic Mother & How To Cope
It depends on you (and only you) whether you want to continue the relationship with her. Because you don’t owe her.
The more you learn about the effects of drug parenting on children, the easier it will be to see how your mother’s narcissism affected you. From there, you can take steps to free yourself from its influence.
An emotional reaction will work for her. If he is calm, he will use your lack of emotional control against you. This is why many who grew up with covert narcissistic mothers learn to keep their emotions secret.
If he can take a picture of you, he’ll play victim and ride the wave until he catches it.
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The better you know what’s going on in your mother’s head and heart, the easier it will be to see how to respond in the kindest and most effective way.
Kind doesn’t mean “good”. You don’t let her have her way. You’re just trying to see things from her perspective (even though you know she won’t reciprocate).
Makes no sense. Even if your reason is valid and hers isn’t, she won’t see it. And in the end you will get nothing. He will respect no opinion but his own.
If you don’t think like her, your thoughts automatically become hatred towards her. You can’t win. For her, the price of admitting (or even admitting) defeat is too high.
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You don’t need him to agree with you. You don’t even need to let her tell her (she won’t listen anyway). Once you make a decision, you just need it.
Even if he blames you for everything and no matter how passionately he tries to convince you that he knows better, stand your ground.
Get rid of your mother’s attitude. what follows from it; It’s not really about you.
The way she treats you and what she says comes from her own inflated but very fragile ego. You have the same right to love and find happiness as anyone else.
Toxic Narcissistic Mother Starter Pack
Or at least buy yourself some time by answering one of her requests with, “I don’t know…let me think about it” or “This isn’t a good time. I’ll get back to you.” “Come on.”
Growing up with a narcissistic mother affects your confidence and self-esteem. It’s time to rebuild – or create what you never had.
To get started, try the assertiveness exercises in this post to help you find and build self-confidence.
If she asks you out, tell her you want her, but if the conversation turns to whining, criticizing, or bullying, get out before she blames you.
Co Parenting With A Narcissist: 15 Ways To Protect Your Family
When you grow up with a narcissistic parent, it’s understandable that you’ll adopt some consistent behaviors of your own.
Maybe you don’t have boundaries with her because she doesn’t respect them. And it may be difficult for you to express your feelings, knowing that he will use them against you.
This person can be a therapist, but it can also be in the form of a support group or friends who understand what you are going through.
If possible, talk to a professional therapist who can help you sort out your personal stuff and finally learn to let go.
Narcissism: How To Cope With Narcissistic Mothers, Narcissistic Parent
Even if you’re well-equipped to figure out if your mom is a secret drug addict, that doesn’t make it any easier. But naming what you’ve been dealing with your whole life can help you move past the damage it caused and begin to heal.
It’s also important to remember that your mother’s hidden narcissism doesn’t make her bad. Narcissism is a disease. And it’s up to her to heal it.
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