How To Help A Depressed Alcoholic Husband – Living with an alcoholic spouse can feel depressing. It can kill you. You may end up playing the role of “fixer” by constantly picking up on their shit. Alcoholics often leave behind broken promises and relationships and financial problems. You may be living with physical or emotional abuse. To an outside observer, the decision to leave an alcoholic spouse may seem simple. But if you’ve been in it, you know that’s not the case. Here are some signs that it may be time to leave an alcoholic spouse.
Quitting alcohol is easier said than done. There are often logistical, emotional and financial barriers to getting in and out the door. You even thought once that you would spend the rest of your life with this person. It is natural to hope that things can change. While millions of people recover from alcoholism and addiction, some do not. Here are some signs that leaving an alcoholic may be the best decision you can make.
How To Help A Depressed Alcoholic Husband
Studies show that living with an alcoholic spouse can affect your physical and emotional well-being. The stress of your partner’s alcohol addiction can put you at risk for:
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If you’re experiencing emotional, financial, or health problems because of your spouse’s substance abuse, it’s time to reevaluate your situation.
If you live with an addict who doesn’t see a problem with their behavior despite the dire consequences, that’s a red light. Alcohol use disorder is a brain disease. Once you become addicted to alcohol, it is very difficult to “quit drinking” without help. Your alcoholic spouse is likely experiencing this firsthand. Maybe they were trying to stop drinking but to no avail. Maybe they’ve stopped opting out or downsizing. Maybe your spouse has been in and out of rehab for alcoholism. These can be chronic relapses. Relapse is sometimes a reality of addiction just like any other chronic illness. The difference is that people committed to recovery take relapse as a sign that they need to recommit to sobriety. They learn from their mistakes and try again. If your spouse goes into alcohol rehab with a heart, doesn’t follow his continuing care plan, and isn’t interested in personal growth, he may not be ready to change for a long time, or ever.
Addictive behavior is inherently unpredictable. Alcohol and drug abuse seriously affect people’s judgment. Not being able to predict when your spouse will start drinking can be one of the scariest things about living with an alcoholic. Your partner may take dangerous risks or go from Jekyll to Hyde while drinking. If they drink, your alcoholic spouse:
Being in an unpredictable situation can lead to hypervigilance and anxiety. These are signs of trauma. Untreated trauma can damage your physical and mental health. If your alcoholic spouse is behaving in a way that puts you and your family’s well-being at risk, you need to consider whether staying in the relationship is worth it.
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Alcohol abuse often plays a role in intimate partner violence. Intimate partner violence includes both physical and emotional abuse. Alcohol addiction does not cause domestic violence in relationships. People who abuse don’t become that way because of drugs and alcohol. However, the effects of alcohol can certainly be worsened by abuse. Alcohol abuse can increase violent and abusive behavior. Domestic violence is inexcusable and often doesn’t change despite promises and mental health support. The problem is that breakups are often the most dangerous time to abuse people. Because control is often the goal of abuse, when the abused partner leaves, the abuser becomes anxious. They fear that they no longer control the victim. Occasionally, violence and dangerous behavior escalate. If you are leaving an alcoholic partner who is abusing you, you may want to talk to a professional about the safest way to do so.
There can be many fears about leaving an alcoholic spouse. This is not an easy decision. You may have concerns related to the child. Your alcoholic spouse may be financially supporting your family. You may be worried about where you will live, how they will react to the news that you are leaving, or that they will not be able to live well without you. These are all valid concerns. Talking to a mental health professional or someone you trust can help you deal with these issues. They will help you overcome your fears and begin to understand what is needed to move forward – whether that means leaving or staying.
It is easy to be consumed by the problems of an addict. After all, when you live with an addict, their problems affect yours. People with addictions often find themselves in legal, financial, and personal trouble. Loved ones of addicts can find themselves constantly picking up the pieces. Living with an addict often affects your health. You are at increased risk for mental health disorders, substance abuse, PTSD, anger issues, and other behavioral health problems. You are at risk of neglecting yourself and other loved ones. If you and your children’s quality of life is suffering because of an addicted partner, it may be time to leave.
At some point, most people who get sober realize they need help to get better. If you continue to enforce boundaries, take a closer look at your relationship, ask your loved one to seek help, and explain how their behavior is affecting you. Maybe you’ve had an intervention or several and your partner won’t enter an addiction treatment facility if it should give you a break. If they don’t convince you to attend a 12-step meeting or ask your doctor about your addiction, they may be too far from getting help and recovery. These are just a few signs that it is time to stop being an alcoholic. No situation is the same. Every relationship has special circumstances. However, if you find yourself dealing with these warning signs, it may be time to rethink your life situation.
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Just because your alcoholic partner isn’t getting help right now doesn’t mean they won’t ever go to rehab. Some people have to dig deep before accepting help. Many people don’t. Alcohol addiction treatment can be effective at any level of readiness. Many people enter addiction treatment programs because of ultimatums, legal problems, or work problems. Your loved one may find inner motivation to get better after undergoing alcohol or drug rehab. The reality is that this may not happen until you reach your limit. In fact, giving them up can be the spark for change. You cannot force or work for your addicted spouse into alcohol treatment. All you can do is stick to your boundaries and try to help guide them in the right direction.
If you haven’t tried an intervention before, you might want to consider it. Sometimes intervention is a turning point for alcoholics. Telling loved ones how their drinking has affected their lives and how worried they are about them can motivate the addict to take action. A professional interventionist helps ensure that alcoholism intervention is effective and compassionate. They can help you communicate in a way that doesn’t put your spouse on the defensive about your addiction. An interventionalist can answer any questions your loved one has about treatment options. For example, they can tell them what alcohol detoxification is really like and why it needs to be done in a medical facility. They can also refer them to addiction treatment centers and talk about what they can expect during a typical day in alcohol rehab. Only you can decide when to leave your alcoholic spouse. You deserve a life that doesn’t revolve around chaos, fear, and sadness. You deserve happiness. This happiness is only possible if you leave your alcoholic spouse, even if temporarily. Sometimes alcoholics are able to see the seriousness of their situation, which is important to them. Once you’ve made the decision about your partner having an alcohol use disorder, it’s important to remember that the process can be difficult, frustrating, and heartbreaking. It may take longer than you think to finish, and your partner may escalate their behavior in an attempt to get you back into their life.
The best way to move forward in this process is to work with an attorney who understands your situation and what you are going through. This will help you know what to document, what steps will ensure your safety, and how to go about the process in the most efficient way.
During the process, your partner may experience great stress and their behavior may escalate. If there is a risk of harm to you, your pet, your children or your property, it is important that you have a safety plan in place. If your partner has a history of exploding or a history of violence, make sure you, your children, and your pets have a safe place to live, notify your attorney, and file for a restraining order immediately.
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