What To Say When Someone Is Dying In The Hospital – Layne lost his father to cancer in his twenties. She hopes to help others cope with their own experiences of loss.
What do you say to your mom, dad, friend, sister, brother, coworker or neighbor when you find out they are dying? They may have told you that they are terminally ill with cancer, that a terminal illness could kill them, or that their health is rapidly deteriorating. This is hard news that can shock anyone. This is so shocking and upsetting that it can be hard to know how to react and what to say.
What To Say When Someone Is Dying In The Hospital
Names can be found. Use the examples below as inspiration for your thinking. Think about these messages and find the best thing to say to the person who needs to hear them. You can modify the ideas below to suit your needs and the person you are considering. Before we start, let’s first talk about what we shouldn’t talk about.
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Clarifying your relationship with this person and your purpose is very important before you start. Would you rather say the words yourself or write them down on a piece of paper? Looking for words of comfort or sympathy for a dying friend? Here are some helpful examples to get you started.
This content is accurate and to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not intended to replace the official and individual advice of a qualified professional.
Thank you for the kind words. I agree that after you’ve lost someone yourself, it’s very easy to relate to others.
Hi Karol, thank you very much for your answer. I’m sorry to hear your mom is sick. I agree that many people avoid it because they feel uncomfortable in the situation and don’t know how to convey their thoughts. After my father died, it was easier for me to talk to people and speak from the heart. Best wishes to you.
What To Say To Someone Who’s Dying
Powerful writing. My mum is sick and I see a lot of people not going, I guess they don’t know what to say.
Thanks for reading, Dora. Glad you liked the meaning of the message. In fact, it’s hard to find words right now. He lives.
Good, sensible news. We all get lost sometimes, not knowing what to do in this situation. Your article is a helpful guide. Thank you, a friend of ours recently told us that someone he has known since childhood is dying of a brain tumor. He wants to make his friend cry, but he doesn’t know what to say and is afraid that he might upset him.
My response was that nothing he could do or say would make it better or worse and the best thing to do is listen and let his friend know that you care and are there for him.
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After that conversation, it occurred to me that after the year I had just had it, I should be an expert at talking to the dying. I just spent the last year supporting my ex-partner who was slowly dying of brain cancer.
We broke up shortly before the diagnosis. The first sign something was wrong was when he suddenly became speechless. My mother and I took him to the emergency room, where they found a large brain tumor. He underwent brain surgery and recovered enough to live independently in the house we previously shared. I lived 10 minutes away trying to support my 82 year old mum who nearly lost her home due to the Australian bushfires and Covid.
My ex and I broke up amicably. We had 15 happy years together, and in retrospect our breakup was undoubtedly partly due to changes in his personality in the year before he was diagnosed with a brain tumor that we knew nothing about.
In the 16 months between his diagnosis and his death, I visited or called him almost every day. At first, as our friend, I was afraid of what to say to him. I’ve learned a lot over the months about what worked and what didn’t, and he used to tell me what he wanted from me and what he didn’t.
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I’d like to say it’s easy. Somehow it did, but I was always worried about what it would be like, especially since the brain tumors had come back, which meant he was often irrational, angry, or emotional. Sometimes you can be optimistic and optimistic.
It was the hardest, most stressful and emotional sixteen months of my life and I still suffer. (As I write this, he’s been dead for exactly two months.) I have gained strength, resilience and self-knowledge in many ways. I also thoroughly analyzed my fear of death. It’s still a work in progress.
I am writing this now in the hope that it may help others who have to walk beside a dying person.
I say follow the advice. You can’t do that to them. There’s no reason for you to take on all their pain and sorrow or drown in debt because you can’t do more. It’s their journey. There’s not much you can do to influence the outcome. Everything you can do is the best.
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Here are some tips and things I’ve picked up along the way that can help you face talking to a loved one who is dying without fear.
What do you want from me? What have I got for you? I can help you. . . (be prepared to accept a “no” answer to this question). Who can I call? Talk about the weather or what they would eat today. Simple, harmless things. Recall the good memories you shared together.
Don’t ask them if they are in a lot of pain or what symptoms they have today.
Some people will want to talk about their diagnosis, that they are dying, and some will not. They may be in denial or unaware of how sick they are. It’s best to lead them and ask delicate questions to find out where they are at. Some may never admit what happened to them. (My ex was more in the light, but at times he would admit that he thought he was dying. Even after doctors gave him a few weeks to live, he would forget or deliberately misunderstand.)
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You can ask what the doctor said or how they think they feel. Never impose your opinion on a situation if you can help it.
You’ll quickly realize that they don’t want to talk about it. Be aware of their avoidance techniques, such as constantly telling them not to say anything. This is because they are afraid to say what they do not want to hear. Also, changing the subject is a strong signal that they are not ready to talk about it.
The way I loved my ex was, “I hope so. . . “And he will have small goals that he hopes will be good enough to achieve them. I was just trying to encourage them even though I knew a lot of it wouldn’t happen.
You may have to accept or deny many things that you know are not true. You may know that they won’t get better, but instead of being honest, you can be honest and say things like, ‘I hope so’, ‘That sounds like a good idea’ or ‘I’m sure the doctor knows what they’re doing’.
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You can always talk about their illness and symptoms. Talk about the weather, the garden, other people you know, things that have happened. Keep it simple and help them make the most of each day with little joys like the sun shining or birds chirping.
A mortal is still the same person inside. They are not the only disease. They still have the same stuff as always. They want to be treated as they are, not a set of characteristics.
They generally do not want to be treated with sympathy and compassion. They just want to live as normal as they can, as much as they can.
So try to do it normally. You don’t have to deny that they are sick, but you can admit it and then move on to other topics. We talked about the news, the arts, the TV shows we were watching. Just normal stuff.
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Most of us are bad at this, myself included. I had to train myself to stop trying to make things better and listen. We can’t always make things better, but we can be present and show we care just by listening. human beings
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