What To Write To Someone With Terminal Cancer

What To Write To Someone With Terminal Cancer – In 2009, my husband and I received the worst news any parent could ever hear: our five-year-old son had cancer. Joey has an aggressive brain tumor called an inoperable astrocytoma.

Now I get asked what people do and say when they find out a friend’s child has cancer. I wish I never had to experience this, but I don’t have to.

What To Write To Someone With Terminal Cancer

It can be difficult to know what to tell a parent about a child’s medical condition. Each person’s words and actions are different. Here is a guide to some things

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1. “He will.” A supportive cry; but the truth is that no one knows for sure. Although cancer is one of the most treatable diseases, your friend is very scared for her child’s life right now.

What it says: “Don’t be afraid. I’m here to talk whenever you need to listen.”

2. “I can’t believe how good you handle/I can’t do what you do/I’m so mad I can’t stop you.”

It is very painful and dangerous when a child is diagnosed with cancer. Often times people can’t – and don’t want to – think about what they would do if it were their child. Your partner is really trying to pull himself together to be strong.

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What to say: “I appreciate how you handled this with grace. If you need someone to lean on, I’m here.” You may ask to accompany her to some events and spend time with her child while she is resting. This will help you understand what he is going through and see that you love the child and will do everything for him.

3. “God has a plan/Everything has a reason/I pray for a miracle.” My husband and I grew up Catholic, but this is not the God we believe in. A god who tortures a five-year-old child needlessly to prove a point or to excuse his parents for something is not God I want to worship. Prayer and prayer were the closest thing to us during Joey’s illness and after his death, especially since we know that 100% of cases like his will die. This is not the time to surrender your religious beliefs to someone else.

Instead, what to say: “I’m praying for you” or “I’m praying for strength and healing for your child.”

4. “I heard a story about someone who had this type of cancer and was cured.” When people talk to us, they are always talking about an adult who is diagnosed with brain cancer. Brain tumors present differently in children than in adults. Additionally, not all types of tumors are made from the same cells or located in the same location. If you do not understand the true biology of human cancer cells, you cannot make this claim.

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What to say: “I know everyone’s health situation is different, but I know someone who has the same story. Do you want to talk to them?”

5. “Have you tried essential oils/all natural remedies/diet?” While I’m sure your friend would appreciate the advice, he probably talked to all the experts in the field and followed their professional advice.

What to say: “Would you like to hear about how other people I know have treated this disease?” (Also, if you’re not a health professional, it’s best to keep the advice to yourself.)

6. “Let me know what I can do to help.” This is a great idea, but your partner may not know what they need and may not ask if they do.

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To say: “I want to bring you food. What’s a good day and time to take a break?” Here are nine ideas for what to do instead of asking what you should do.

7. “I know what you’re thinking.” I try not to talk to other mothers of children with cancer because, no, I don’t know what they are like. Every case is different; and each version – although the ending is the same – is done differently.

To say: “I can’t imagine how you feel.” And listen carefully when he talks to you. Even if you have a child with a health problem, sometimes you need to talk about your partner and their child.

8. None. It’s obvious that death and dying cause people pain, but sometimes it’s called indifference.

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What to do instead: If you don’t want to talk, send a card or text message that says “thinking of you.”

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Kathy Glow was a wife and mother of four boys, a beautiful angel in Heaven, lost to cancer. Most days you’ll find him under a pile of laundry ordering out. When he’s not driving around town in his minivan or cleaning “people” off the walls, he’s writing about what life is like after your dreams come true. Her writing has been featured in places like the Huffington Post, Scary Mommy, Good Housekeeping, and Mamalode; but his View From Home is his favorite part. His blog is at www.lifewiththefrog.com. You can follow him on Facebook at Kiss the Frog.

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