Why Do I Feel Alone In A Relationship – Michelle Guerrier holds a degree in journalism and has nearly 10 years of experience working for various digital and print publications.
Cherise Harris is a reality checker focusing on life, beauty and parenting. She has worked in research for almost 20 years.
Why Do I Feel Alone In A Relationship
Most of us think we have to be lonely to be lonely, but we are not. In fact, research shows that even married people feel lonely. But what does it really mean when you feel lonely in a relationship, and does it mean you should end the relationship? Not necessarily, says happiness expert Andrea F. Pollard, Psy.D. And millennial relationship therapist Elisha Janney says. Jenny says loneliness is a state of being, not boredom, but a lack of connection.
Feeling Alone In A Relationship (7 Things To Do If You Feel Alone)
“People are lonely in relationships or social groups because they can’t be themselves with the people and situations that surround them every day,” says Jenny. “Loneliness is emotional and mental isolation.” Some signs to look out for include feeling like you can’t be with your partner, a lack of real intimacy, and hiding your true feelings and desires. This condition can be caused by a variety of reasons, including depression, anxiety, and depression.
Jenny says that every relationship is different, but if you’re feeling lonely, it might be one or the other. The first is that you may be with the wrong person, even if you are a good match on paper. Because of this, you may not be able to connect your partner to who you really are, so you don’t have anything in common or have the same values or needs.
The second situation is that you really are with the “right” person but are too afraid to admit it. It’s not a deep connection,” she says. The good news is that if your relationship falls into the latter group, there are actually ways to combat these feelings.
With the help of Jenny and Pollard, we’ve put together six ways to keep your relationship from feeling lonely.
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Practicing mindfulness can help you whether you are on your own or playing a role in a relationship. This is especially effective, says Jenny, because it helps you truly connect with others. “The more people you are with, the more opportunities you have for genuine and fulfilling relationships,” she explains. The act of making yourself vulnerable and letting someone in gives you strength (which is why therapy can help). Seeing the “real” you is empowers you, comforts you, connects you, and even grounds you.
You have to take some risks to show your true self. “It’s not comfortable and it’s not always safe, but it will help you decide who will support you and who won’t,” says Jenny. S.O. It can be as simple as being emotional towards them or talking to them. Sharing a part of yourself combats loneliness because it opens you up to finding true connection. This is why we feel closeness to our pets on another level. This is because we believe that when we do stupid and disgusting things to our pets, they will love us unconditionally. “This is what humans need,” he says.
If you’re feeling lonely in your relationship, take some time to go inside and be honest with yourself about why that might be the case. According to Pollard, some people are addicted to external stimuli. “We feel tired and blame others for not being interesting,” he explains in an article for Psychology Today. The best thing you can do at the same time is admit that you can feel it. Pollard also recommends turning to meditation to help you pay more attention to the present. For example, you can walk in nature and listen to the sounds of a fountain or a garden. “Be kind and consider the gift of ordinary life,” wrote the psychologist.
Maybe you haven’t met a mind reader, but we often think that people need to know what we need and what hurts us. “Ask for what you need in a calm, gentle and vulnerable way,” explains Jenny. “Understanding your needs makes it easier for you to relax, which in turn reduces your emotional loneliness.”
Why You Feel Lonely In Your Relationship
Learning to ask for what you need is key. “If you’re spending a lot of time with the flow and not spending a dime, it might be time to start plumbing,” says Jenny. Expressing your feelings and thoughts will help you feel more valued in the relationship. Because that relationship is how you gain mutual respect. You don’t always agree with the other person.
As important as talking and being honest with your partner is in a healthy relationship, S.O. According to Pollard, you should talk and try to understand their point of view. “A good relationship doesn’t predict a couple’s satisfaction, it’s just that a satisfied couple has a good relationship,” she explains. Because of this, even if you and your partner can improve your communication skills, you may feel less alone in your relationship. However, Pollard says that if you still have love in your hearts for each other, you can work to reconnect.
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“It’s very common for people to feel lonely in long-term relationships,” says New York-based psychologist and relationship expert Neelu Dardashti.
What To Do If You’re Married But Lonely
According to Dardashti, people in relationships can feel lonely either because something is not working in the relationship or because they expect their partner to fill their void.
Whatever the culprit, here are a few experts to explain why you feel this way and offer ways to address the root of whatever loneliness you’re experiencing.
One reason you feel lonely may be that your relationship isn’t working as well as it used to. According to a 2018 study by the Pew Research Center, 28% of people who are unhappy with their family life feel lonely all or most of the time. And the number of unhappy people at home is increasing. In 2016, the General Social Survey conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago recorded the highest number of unhappy couples since 1974.
This loneliness can often occur when couples lose emotional connection, says Gary Brown, a licensed family and marriage therapist in Los Angeles. “Even in the best of relationships, one or both partners can feel distant and a little distant from each other,” she says.
Why You Feel Alone In Your Relationship (& What To Do About It)
An unwillingness to be vulnerable can also contribute to feelings of loneliness in romantic relationships, according to Jenny Tietz, clinical psychologist and author of How to Be Single and Happy. “A contributing factor to loneliness is not talking about your feelings or sharing something less safe and less dangerous to share,” she says. “You may be close to someone, but they may not know more personal things about you.”
Social media can also play a role. According to Tietz, comparing the relationships you see on social media can make you feel lonely. “Let’s say you had a nice dinner on Valentine’s Day, for example. But when you go on social media, other people have really nice jewelry or flowers,” she says. “That will automatically make you lonely.” When you compare your relationship on social media, he says, you create an “uncomfortable distance” between yourself and your partner. It is through this distance that a sense of loneliness is created. And the more money you spend on social media, the more lonely you’ll feel. A 2017 study published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine found that people who spent more than two hours a day on social media felt twice as lonely as those who spent 30 minutes on the site. spend in
However, for some people, feelings of loneliness may precede actual relationships. A 2016 study published in Nature found that loneliness may be a genetic trait, and that there are some people who are genetically predisposed to feeling lonely throughout their lives. And Dardashti warns that being in a relationship is the following.
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