Why My Husband Always Angry With Me – I am torn between my family and my husband. We have been married for 14 years. The last time we had family gatherings at our house, my husband did something rude to my family.
For example, At my son’s birthday party, a family member brought him a toy. My son broke the toy within minutes and had my husband fix it. In front of everyone in the room, including the gift buyer, he threw the doll out the door, saying it was “cheap and beyond repair.” I panicked and told him I could have waited until they left to throw the toy away.
Why My Husband Always Angry With Me
Other examples include snarky comments or harsh responses that seem over the top. We have been married for a long time. But it became more subtle than before. When my mother came, she entered the room, but did not notice that there was anyone else in the house and did not say anything. Now the behavior is more noticeable and I don’t know why. I don’t remember the tension with my family when he and I were dating.
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When I discussed his behavior with him, He always dismissed it as irrelevant or misunderstood. I don’t believe he has any bad intentions towards my family. He is a good father and husband. I find it socially awkward and unsafe. And I think this is an area where he struggles.
The easiest thing is to stop going to family events and cause grief to my husband and family. I can’t help but think that this is the reason why our close-knit family is becoming less close and growing rifts. His family didn’t accept him and he was upset because everything he said was insulting. I feel sorry for his behavior because he knows how important family is to me. I don’t want to be away from my family – I want my son to be close to them too – but my husband and my family can’t coexist. What should I do?
Before you can think about how to deal with the situation, you need to have a good understanding of what is going on in your family. Families are dynamic systems in which each individual’s behavior influences and is influenced by others.
You say that there has been tension between your husband and your family since you got married, but you didn’t notice it when you were dating. Being with a family can bring up all kinds of feelings that people may not be aware of, and when those feelings aren’t expressed, they often show up in behavior. Whether it’s making a rude remark about shoes or not trying to say hello to his mother. Your man is probably saying that he has known him for a long time.
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However, Remember that his behavior may be more about his family than yours—for example, If there are unresolved tensions between his parents or siblings. It can be easier to navigate negative emotions, so you can transfer those tensions to your family. Against a third party. So that he can avoid the pain of his family relationship.
At the same time, your family “doesn’t accept” him and “everything he says or does is insulting.” This hurt him, I think it will make you angry and resentful. That would explain why his behavior towards them had become more and more insensitive over the years.
You also mentioned his social awkwardness. He seems to be for everyone or just your family members. If he thinks he is socially inappropriate with everyone, he may not understand the implications of what he says or does because of a condition like Autism Spectrum Disorder. If that’s the case, he says it’s not a big deal, or if he says it’s a “misunderstanding,” it makes sense because it’s not really a big deal to him and he’s really misunderstood. An evaluation with a doctor can help diagnose the problem; Once done, educating family members can help them not take his behavior personally and understand it in a different context.
In conclusion, there are many possible explanations for what happened. But so far your conversations seem to be focused on that.
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They do. I told your husband that you shouldn’t throw away the toy while your family is around (
) but you didn’t approach him out of curiosity as to how you would handle him in such a situation (
) and the same goes for your family. Maybe you’ve told them that you can be hard on your husband for the little things (
It’s as if no one has really talked about it in those 14 years.
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. Now is a good time to start. By telling your husband that you are stuck between him and your family, you love them all; You may start to realize that this is a very painful position for you. You can tell that what he is doing is affecting your son. Because this prevents children from creating the kind of close-knit family that keeps them safe and doesn’t set a good example of how to treat others. I respect you. If you despise your family, He will also be disrespectful to you. This can lead you to family problems as well as marital problems. And you can tell him that you both need to talk about why these things are happening for the sake of your marriage and baby. If he really doesn’t know or understand why he’s bothering you. Discussing the problem with a therapist may help. (Seeing a therapist may also help clarify whether his social awkwardness is the cause, or whether there is an underlying condition.)
At the same time, You can talk to your family about your desire to bond with your husband and son, and explain that you can see that your husband’s behavior may be offensive, but that they are easily offended at times. Not intended. . Then you can try to connect them.
You may be surprised by what you learn, but remember that not everything that comes out of these conversations will lead to complete reconciliation. The goal is to create a respectful relationship between your family and your spouse, but some people are too different to just be friends. People I love can’t love each other. Accepting this may bring grief to your imaginary ideal family, but in the end it will give you relief because you can remove yourself from the middle and stop an impossible intimacy. Instead, you can focus on setting boundaries in your relationship. When you spend time together, you can make it clear that your spouse and your family members treat each other with respect – this is a sign of respect for you. And through these long-awaited conversations, you can grow in the process of deepening your relationship with your husband and your family members.
Dear Therapist is for informational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice, professional medical advice, It is not a substitute for diagnosis or treatment. If you have any questions about your health condition, ask your doctor for advice. Always ask a mental health professional or other qualified health care provider. By sending your message, The Atlantic agrees to let you use it in part or in whole and may edit it for length and/or clarity. Your husband comes home from work and tells you excitedly that he got a promotion. – In another country. Would you quit your job and move to a city away from your family to pursue your career goals? Should I get it?
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A close relationship requires sacrifice. In fact, Many people’s definition of truly loving another person involves sacrifice—indeed. Research shows that couples are likely to be happier in their relationships when their partners are willing to make sacrifices for each other. Sometimes this sacrifice can be life-changing, such as deciding to move to another country to live with your partner. Other times, your choice may seem small and mundane, like watching an action movie instead of a comedy.
Sacrifice may be inevitable, but it’s not always easy when the time comes. I need to be honest with myself: why should I give up what I want? – Against your will
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